iChef Journal [5.24.01 Thursday] Thursday was fun. We (the seniors at Harvest) are putting together a senior gift for the senior banquet that's coming up in a couple weeks. Well, it was getting late, and a bunch of the guys were going crazy (including me). We were dancing around, talking jibberish in foreign languages, howling. Ha ha, I guess that's what happens when you're up late, doing monotonous stuff (don't want to give away the surprise of the gift). I think I've said this before, but I don't want to get too sentimental with these journals. But, given that it's close to graduation, I think a lot of my entries will be a lot of "I'll miss this", "I'll miss that..." kind of thoughts. I think this is more of just a ramble, but I just really savor those moments when everyone gets kind of crazy and its fun, just to fool around, cause trouble, and carry on until the completion of a task. I've been thinking a lot about our senior mens small group as of late. I think that It's been kind of a tough ride for all of us. I know that a lot of my expectations have really been deflated. These include my desire for true brotherhood: openness, brokenness, and compassion for each other. I can't pin point anything in particular. I think it was a combination of not being on the same page (needing the common purpose of desiring to grow close to God and each other) , willingness to be open, and just plain old commitment - through thick and thin. I know that I have failed in all three of these categories throughout this year so I have no one to blame but myself. If anything, I've learned that things don't happen without prayer. Maybe it wasn't God's plan for us to be a tight group, or maybe it just wasn't the right timing. In any case, I know that brotherhood is something God would want for us because it is good. And in our case, maybe we just didn't pray enough about it, just asking God to help us to be one. It's hard though, because I find that I often have such little faith in God's plan for me, for us, for our church. And. That's where prayer comes in. It's a way to put your faith into action. To know that there really is nothing you can do, and to believe and act by coming to God with your needs, hopes, and desires. I think our group really did have awesome moments: the senior trip to Yosemite, praying together, confessing to one other, reading up on Proverbs: wisdom on friendship, and just talking together about issues. For me, these events were great, along with the way I've been able to get to know Victor and Brian Ngsee better through our times together of Thursday nights. In light of my upcoming transition away from school, I'm getting a little scared of where I will find community when I move back home. Its something I've always though about, and well, it's tough. I'm going to start praying. ___________________________________________ | previous | journal (i need a good name) | next |